Inside the Mind of: Sasuke Uchiha
by Akia and Amora
Summary: So what goes on in Sasuke's head? You're about to find out. Why does the Sharingan crave chocolate? Who are the best dressed in Konaha? Find the answers to this in more, in Sasuke's mind!
1. The Sharingan Craves Chocolate

_Chapter one: The Sharingan Craves Chocolate_

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Everyone thinks that the Sharingan is a super powerful thing but all it does is make me crave...Chocolate, and lots of it.

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One time I was in a battle with Naruto and I used the Sharingan. In the middle of a kick the Sharingan once again made me crave chocolate, so i pushed him away and ran home. Naruto was all like O.O but me i was like CHOCOLATE.CHOCOLATE and so I searched my entire house and finally found, my secret stash of chocolate, i ate five pounds of chocolate that day.

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I even made a chocolate song it goes like this:

i love chocolate yes i do

i love chocolate how about u

i eat it everyday

even when i go potty

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I made that all by myself, Itachi was so proud, actually he wasn't and tried to kill me for ruining his chocolate song...his was dumb though, it went like:

C-h-o-c-o-l-a-t-e all for meee!got it idiots?

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Told you it was lame, you'd think he didn't really crave chocolate...Nah, that can't be true, he stole some from my stash last week cause he couldn't afford his own... dam him! It took weeks to buy that chocolate!

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I saw Sakura the other day opening a bar of chocolate, so i ran up and grabbed it from her. She hit me over the head like she does with Naruto all the time, doesn't she know the Sharingan craves chocolate so I have to get all the chocolate I can to sastify it? Appearently not, she didn't believe me when i told her and she hit me again adn told me to stop imitating Naruto.

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The nerve of her.

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How could she know what my Sharingan craves? She isn't an Uchiha, she doesn't know what I go through each day! The Hyuga's don't even understand, their Byakugan craves somethin though, can't remember what, oh well, doesn't effect me any.

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do you ever think about a life without chocolate?i COULD NEVER!

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and that is my tall about how the Sharingan craves chocolate.

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Next in Sasuke's mind: The top ten best dressed Ninja's in town, stay tuned.

A/N: Okay, so there you have it! The Sharingan craves Chocolate, my friend gave me the idea for that one. Well, please review and enjoy the next chapters to come


	2. Fashion SHow

_Chapter 2: The Best Dressed_

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Lots of weird things happen in my head, yesterday i had a fashion show in my head. I had to countdown the top 10 best dressed ninjas. It was very fun.

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My number ten was:

Shikamaru Nara- i mean come on, ever heard of a haircut? And what's with the fish net on your clothes? What are you, a transvestite or something? Gawd.

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Number nine was:

Naruto Uzumaki- the orange so doesn't go with your hair, or the blue on the jacket. and what's with the whiskers on your face? are you trying to be a cat?

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Number eight:

Sakura Haruno- Your reddish dress so doesn't go with those pants you wear underneath it. And the dressish thing doesn't go good wit your eyes either, you look like a Christmas tree or something.

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Seven:

Ino Yamanaka- Yellow hair and purple clothes don't go togetehr at all. And what's with the bandages around your waist? Sheesh, weird much?

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Six:

TenTen- I liked the buns on your head but ididn't like the style of your shirt.

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five:

Hinata Hyuga- your blue hair goes good with your jacket, but you need to show more skin.

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Four:

Itachi Uchiha- you look like me so...what else is there to say?

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Three:

Gaara- The goard makes you look mysterious and the hair matches your bad boy attitude.

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Two:

Kakashi Hatake- That mask makes you look myterious. What's under it? The world may never know.

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number one! Drum roll please:complete silence. Okay fien whatever:

NEJI HYUGA!- His hair reminds me of chocolate, nuff said.

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After I annoced the ten best dressed, i heard screaming so I ran away but not before I heard bits of thier converstaion.

" Uggg, what a chocolate loving peeervert!"

" Oh i know, that mark about a christmas tree, so outta line."

" At least your hair doesn't remind him of chocolate."

" And what was with the hair comment? i got a haircut a year ago!"

" AND WHY DID HE TELL ME TO SHOW MORE SKIN! IT'S RIDICULOUS!"

" I know, he was so rude!"

" And i am not a cat! I'm a fox!"

" Let's get him!"

" YEAH!"

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I ran off after that.

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Next inside Sasuke's mind: I'm not quiet, I'm just a pervert.


	3. I'm not quiet, i'm just a pervert

_Chapter 3: I'm not quiet, i'm just a pervert_

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You know how I just stand there and never talk? It's because i'm checking out all the girls!

You know when I lean against a tree during practice? It's because i'm looking at Sakura's butt, or when Ino is always latching on to me I look at her bbs:).

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Yes, i know i'm sick, deal with it!

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When i was fightning Haku, i was only losing because i was looking for his bbs, but he didn't ahve any, i was about to cry, he looked like a girl! Couldn't he have gotten implants or something?

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One day i saw Tsuande(sp?) and she had big bbs,i think she got implants...like five times, i was in heaven...

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Sakura story:

Sakura is really smart and nice, but she doesn't have big bbs, but i like her anyway. One time I saw her from an angle and her butt looked like a triangle. She asked what i was looking at. I said nothing but when she turned around i said Triangle butt, that's my nickname for her now.

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Ino story:

Ino is a snobby beotch, and i don't like her at all, her nose is huge, but she has good bbs. One time i was walking around townand she came up to me, she altched on like usual, and when Sakura came she threw her nose i the air and that's when i noticed how big her nose was, i call her Big Nose now...

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Hinata story:

Hinata is quiet and clam, but she's always wearing that jacket! One time I saw her without her coat on, she had BIG bbs, she was hot then. I told Neji, and let's just say I went home with a couple black eyes and some bruised body parts...I grounded myself for a week...

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Stay tuned next in Sasuke's mind: Caffeine Encomium, Sasuke's first time drinking coffee...


	4. Caffine Enconium: First time with coffee

_Chapter four: Caffine Enconium: Sasuke's First time drinking coffee_

A/N: okay, srry for alte update and also, he is on a caffine high at the begining so all his words are bunched together...

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wowilovecoffeesomuch!Caffineismyoneandonlylovebesideschocolate. itallstartedearlierwhenifirsttriedcoffee.

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It was seven in the morning and I saw Sakura. She was not her usual self. She said she didn't get her coffee and asked if i'd like to go with her to get some, and being the polite gentleman that i am, i accepted. We went to the Coffee Shop and sat at a table. She ordered both of us a large coffee. She drank her's down so fast, i thought the end of the world was near, so i decided to drink mine that fast too! It was sooo good! I asked for another and told the waiter to keep them coming, after five Sakura told me i sholdn't drink anymore, but i said it's my life you can't control me and i ended up drinking 3 more, at least i think i did, i drunk so much that i just kept running around, then i blacked out...then i woke up next to someone that i never want to wake up near again...naked...he was naked...i was naked...what the hell did we do? it was...Shikamaru...and he said i was attracted to is fishnets...pulease...i hope we aren't married or something...then he replied that we are only married in his heart...gross much? I ran outside(after putting on my clothes) and ran home...i drunk 3 things of coffee and that's why i was talking so fast a minute ago.

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The next morning Sakura came over and brought us coffee to share. But then i "accidently" poured my cup on her so she had to go get changed in my room. She came out in my black muscle shirt and white shorts. She looked super hot, must ave been the coffee talking, or seeing or something...

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I feel like chocolate...or coffee, i'm addicted...

A/N: Next in the Mind of Sasuke: Spying on the Ninjas


	5. Spying on the Ninjas

_Chapter 5: Spying on the ninjas_

Warning: VERY random and lots of naked guys...

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Well, one night I got bored and so I decided to go off and spy on the people I knew. Why? Because I felt like it. I know it's not right, but I was SO bored...

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Well, being me i decided to spy on the girls first who all happened to be having a sleepover.shifty eyes On the way there I ran into Kiba...and his little mutt.

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Meanwhile at Ino's house the girls were getting into their PJ's...and i know this because Akamarucoughlittlemuttcoughran to Ino's house, much to my pleasure. I noticed them after they had gotten changed...Dam it all...though they were wearing some sexy outfits.

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Ino Outfit: She was wearing spaghetti strap purple belly top that was REALLY tight and some shorts that looked like they were going up her butt...

My comment on this outfit: I wish i was those shorts right now...i mean what?

Kiba's comment on this outfit: Damn, she looks fine.

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Sakura Outfit: Wearing a pink nightgown that went down to her knees and a pink ribbon tying back her hair.

My comment on this outfit: I wish it was just a bit shorter.

Kiba's comment on this outfit: I never thought pink could look THAT good on a girl.

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Hinata outfit: She was wearing a tan T-shirt with blue baggy pants.

My comment on this outfit: She needs to wear tighter clothes to show off her Bbs.

Kiba's comment on this outfit: Man, Hinata looks good even in a t-shirt and baggy pants.

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Well, Kiba decided to go home and I moved on from their little sleepover. I was just walking around and then i got to the park and i started hearing WEIRD, and i mean REALLY weird, noises. It sounded like two cats going at it. I snuck behind a tree and then i saw two people making out on a bench. I couldn't quite make out who they were, so i went a little bit closer and...it was...Kakashi and Iruka!!!!!!!!!!! I was SOOOO PO'd, Iruka was trying to take my man...i mean what? SO i stormed over there and I screamed," Get off my man, Beotch." and pulled Iruka's hair( Iruka was on top) Then Iruka was like," Young man, he is my man!" Then i was like," no he's not!" Then after 20 minutes of " no he's mine!" "no mine!" Kakashi just finally yelled," There's enough of me for both of you." And we looked at him in confusion. And he said," since you both like me you can share me." then then he was all like," so...who's up for a threesome?" Then i said," i'm fine with it." But Iruka was all like," Ewww." He's such a baby and i told him so. Then he got angry and left and so me and Kakashi were alonewinkwink.

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We do not speak of the events of that night...If someone asks...i blame it on too much coffee consumption, most people believe me when i say that...though i don't know why...it's like i'm addicted to it or anything...So, anyway...let's just say after me and Kakashi met at the park...it was basically a blackout until the next morning. When i woke up naked...next to Kakashi, who was also naked...but there was more clothes ont he floor...and then all the sudden i felt a hand going up my thigh and it was...Neji!!!! I was so freaking scared...but not as much scared as when i looked over at the chair and saw Gaara and Kiba on top of eachother naked...i needed to get out of that place...but when i put my foot down off the bed i had felt something beneath my foot it was...Shino...also naked...i thought to myself "i'm glad i blacked out..." and i ran out of the place totally forgetting my clothes...so i was in the streets...naked...and i got a bunch of whistle and " Wooooo."'s it was annoying...but not AS annoying as Kakashi coming up to me and saying he is bearing my children...i think he is a bit gender confused...i mean come on guys can't get pregnant right?...

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Next time in The Mind Of Sasuke Uchiha: Baby Mama Drama


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